Hello Reuben,
1) Each member record has one 'main' email address. You
can add custom fields using database customization function but they will not be
used in any emailing functions, can be only exported etc.
So we can not think of an easy way to handle your need
to cc a parent on emails to a member.
2) There is no 'clean' way to do, a workaround is to
have a custom event registration field 'Are you attending?' and move it up to
make the very first field on the event form.
We do plan to provide a more straightforward way to
handle negative RSVPs later in the year.
Dmitry Buterin, Chief Apricot